The Nice List: Better Gifts For Men

Colin Firth in Bridget Jones’s Diary, which, if you think about it, was a Christmas movie.

This bit of snark courtesy of Instagram..

Men get a lot of nonsense at Christmas, and not just holiday-themed sweaters. A recent gift guide go-to was whiskey stones — cubes of frozen soapstone used as ice cubes that wouldn’t melt and dilute an expensive single malt.

But despite the fact that they don’t really work, they refused to go gentle into that good night, and are now shorthand for silly men’s presents, along with beard oil and anything leather (see chart.)

The gifts below tread the line between silly and practical. They’re also pretty genderless. I’d be happy to receive any one of them.

Instead of, say, a monogrammed leather passport cover*, give him his initial filled with an assortment of delicious Scandinavian candy from Sukker Baby Toronto, ($69 plus cost of letter.) These high fructose corn syrup-free scandi treats make for a gift that will be greeted with true delight instead of polite smiles.

*We all know you have to remove the cover when you reach passport control, so that’s one item that always puzzled me.

Why are contemplative baths only for women? Everyone needs to hide out in a steamy room, submerged in hot, fragrant water. Steeping in a Dr. Hauschka Spruce Warming Bath, $35, Drhauschka.ca, is a powerful sense memory of being in a forest and the bathroom will stay beautifully scented for hours afterwards.

Give a guy a break and prevent him from pulling something when cleaning off the car this winter. The Karcher electric ice scraper, $79, Canadian Tire, will make quick work of that impenetrable ice glaze that covers the windows when the car sits outside overnight and the temperatures rise and then drop precipitously.

We love a shacket, and this toasty, quilted fleece version from Brixton, $180, Brixton.com, comes in pure orange for your favourite peacocking gentleman or in a clutch of more neutral shades if standing out is not his thing.

Now that everyone uses their phone to tell time, luxury watches serve mainly as a way to spend a truckload of money. But an oversized, brightly coloured G-Shock, thebay.com, is fun, a tiny bit silly and has the childlike appeal of a hard-won midway prize.

If your family doesn’t have their Scrabble tiles in a Crown Royal bag, buy a bottle of the famous Gimli, Manitoba whiskey now, ($46.45, lcbo.com), while they are offering the signature purple drawstring bag as a gift-with-purchase. Then drink it with ice, not whiskey stones, or add a generous slug to liven up everyone’s cup of grocery store eggnog.

The Nice List: Gifts for your Favourite Man

Give the gift of self-care to your nearest and dearest this holiday season, because everyone needs love, attention and coziness.

Real talk: men require very few things in life. They’re pretty simple beings, but one non-negotiable is that they absolutely need to be found super-hot by their partner. (I express this in a much more vulgar way to my girlfriends, but this is a public forum, so I’m trying to be circumspect.)

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Jean Paul Gaultier’s Le Male Le Parfum ($98) is a clever reworking of the 1995 original, with amped up spicy and woody notes surrounded by lavender and iris and a quiet but compelling vanilla that highlight a man’s allure.

There are too many black puffer coats in the world and I say this as a black puffer owner. But here’s a secret: even if they’re not fashiony peacocks, many men love colour. This citrusy slice of joy is a sunny hug for your significant other. The Parajumpers Bold Parka, $1198, will give them a jolt of pure happy when they pull it on to head outside into the biting cold.

Why should women get all the gorgeous Taschen coffee table books? The History of EC Comics$260, The Beguiling Books & Art, is a tour through childhood (Mad Magazine), teenhood (Tales of the Crypt) and beyond. It’s available through Toronto’s own legendary The Beguiling bookstore, because if you ‘shop local’ you’ll get stellar customer service while ensuring your city stays vibrant and people are employed.

Tokyo Smoke Cannabis Infused Dark Milk Chocolate was invented for times like these. I can’t really come up with a caption other than it’s delicious chocolate that contains 2 mg of THC, because literally everyone needs help chilling out right now.

Because you can’t sit around eating THC chocolate all day long to relieve tension, there’s the Theragun Prime, ($299 on sale) which uses percussive motion for a deep muscle massage. Whether or not you work out, we all have super tight neck muscles and ‘traps’ right now from sitting hunched at our computers. And incipient carpal tunnel hand pain from too much phone and keyboard time. Buy one for your guy and then just use it yourself. I would kill for one.

Carrying little bottles of sanitizer around can be a nuisance (especially if, as a man, society has seen fit to deprive you of carrying a purse) so these flat, one ounce Nudestix antibacterial hand gel packs, $10 for five, Sephora, are perfect to stash in a pocket without feeling uncomfortably bulky or ruining the line of a garment

How to get men to use moisturizer in the winter: the Ultimate Hemp Power Big Gift Sack from The Body Shop, $65, has a faintly illicit vibe, uses hemp seed oil (rich in soothing fatty acids) to moisturize even the driest skin and the signature scent is fantastic.

And if an Overnight Nourishing Rescue Mask is one beauty product too far, then just steal it back for yourself. (Or do as a friend did when she told her husband that using moisturizer after drinking prevents hangovers the next day.)

After mastering sourdough last April, many of use because de facto barbers, giving desperate male family members haircuts with varying degrees of success.

The Conair Barbershop Pro Series cordless clippers, $70, are easy to use and come with many attachments to help create exactly the style that your haircut guinea pigs desire. These clippers are practically idiot-proof (and I say this as a certified idiot.)