All is calm. All is bright.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all!

Gifts For Frazzled Hosts

Etiquette experts say that it’s impolite to bring flowers to a dinner party because you are asking your already put-upon host to find a vase and arrange flowers when they are busy welcoming guests and seeing to dinner. Much better to send flowers ahead of time or the next day as a thank you.

Guidance like this increases my already sky-high gift anxiety. Like there’s an unseen panel judging my gift as ill-conceived or merely thoughtless. But I don’t want to show up empty-handed knowing I’m sending something the next day. So I am trying to think what would be appreciated if I were feeling overwhelmed or just plain distracted in the kitchen. Happy holidays!

Instead of flowers, let’s start a tradition of showing up with a lasagna and some face masks for the hosts to enjoy the next day when they are exhausted. If you are in Toronto the bolognese lasagna at StockTC on Yonge at Eglinton is hefty for its size and it tastes extravagantly rich and homemade. Throw in some cooling and depuffing, day-after-the-party Cucumber Eye Masks, $5, Sephora.com, and you have a perfect Thank You for your host. (Do I have this beauty writer thing right? Dunno, but if someone showed up at my place with lasagna and cucumber eye masks, I’d let them in.)

The perfect gift for any plant-based friends who may not get the iron they need, the Lucky Iron fish, when boiled for 10 minutes in a soup, curry etc, provides six to eight mg of bioavailable iron. Created by Canadian health workers in Cambodia, witnessing malnutrition in marginalized communities, the fish is best used here for anyone needing an iron supplement. And a percentage of the proceeds goes to help communities in need through Lucky Fishes non-profit partners.

Olli’s Caramelts which contain 2.5 mg of both THC and CBD each are definitely not for kids.

If you were tasked with bringing dessert:

This season people may feel as overstuffed as a couch by the end of the holiday meal. If dessert is up to you, why not go lighter? A couple of boxes of President’s Choice cocoa dusted salted caramel Truffles, $2.49 each, (the cocoa dusting make them look instantly fancier than a regular chocolate), with some fresh figs and raspberries or clementines on a platter lets everyone take what they want. Not to mention, fewer dishes afterwards.

And if your table is adults only, then why not add some Olli Passion Fruit Caramelts, with 2.5 grams THC and 2.5 CBD for gentle “relaxation”. Olli Caramelts are like an ‘enhanced’ version of the wrapped Kraft caramels of our youth except that they also taste brightly of passion fruit and they contain both 2.5 mg of both THC and CBD for the ‘entourage effect’ that amplifies the effect of the THC. So not really like Kraft caramels at all.

This appeals to me for its university dorm party vibe. Show up with a carton of grocery store egg nog (or an actual bottle of ‘fancy’ nog like this one from Toronto’s Summerhill market) and a mickey of just good enough brandy, like St. Remy XO, 375 ml, $20.95, LCBO.com. You can crown yourself barkeep and mix up fortified nogs for the assembled (and hopefully delighted) throng. No punchbowl required, just a willing arm to provide generous pours.

Gift Guide: Dinner in Italy

The best part of foreign travel is renting a place with a kitchen and roaming through markets and small shops to assemble dinner like a native. Seeing as that may not be happening until later in 2022, assembling a food basket is the perfect gift (along with an off piste item or two) for that friend who, at this point in the pandemic, would happily swim to Europe if they thought they could make it.

If I found this beautiful bottle in Europe, i would be ranting about how much lovelier everything is over there. But surprise! it’s available at the LCBO and it’s only $27.95. More subtle than the amaretto you may be familiar with, Luxardo Amaretto di Saschira is sweet but also nutty. It’s nuanced as opposed to one-note and the sheer grandness and arresting beauty of the bottle demands that you build a drinks tray around it. Great as a digestif or in cocktails, it also makes the cleverest and fastest dessert: an Amaretto Affogato. It’s the classic ‘hot espresso poured over vanilla ice cream', but with a generous slug of amaretto added to the bowl as well.

Add an unexpected treat to a food-centric gift by including the perfect red lipstick (nothing more Italian than Gucci) that an Italian hostess would quickly swipe on before receiving guests. Gucci rouge à lèvres satin lipstick in Goldie Red, $55, Sephora.ca is a vibrant true red that looks good on every complexion.

Yes, I know hand soap is not food. But I am so thrilled that this gorgeous and reasonably priced Italian brand is now available at Eataly. Their amber and spice scented Gattopardo Ambra Nera Glass Plate and Soap, $20.90, Eataly.ca makes a perfect practical but glamorous hostess gift.

This year, let’s normalize using vibrantly coloured panettone tins as sewing kits. Definitely one step up from the ubiquitous blue butter cookie tins. I found this Dolce & Gabbana panettone at my favourite Italian grocer (Toronto’s Lady York on Dufferin street) so it’s worth seeking them out at your local shops. And then you aren’t at the mercy of overstretched shipping companies.

Mimi Thorisson’s Old World Italian, Chapters Indigo Books $45, is equal parts tour through Italian cookery, interior design inspiration and straightforward, easy to execute recipes. FYI, The Cacio e Pepe is on p. 160. (Maybe mark it with a Post-it if you are giving pasta and cheese as well?)

Did you read about the bucatini shortage exactly one year ago? All the more reason to include it in your gift. Add a hunk of pecorino and some black peppercorns and you have everything you need for Cacio e Pepe (except the starchy pasta water. You’ll have to make that yourself.)

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Storytime!

In my twenties, I visited the Toronto home of an up-and-coming film producer and his lovely Italian girlfriend. According to the friends of his who brought me, he apparently wouldn’t marry her, even after years together, because he didn’t want her to get his money in case they broke up.

She was warm, welcoming and low-key cool and kept all her beautiful dried pasta boxes casually displayed in a wicker basket on top of the fridge. When I got home, I immediately put all my pasta in a basket too, and 30 years on, I still store it that way. I googled him for this and no, they are no longer together. If you and I are friends, just ask and I will tell you who he is.

A Bath, a Bottle, a Book: Gifts for a Quiet Day

I want to steep in this marble bath at Stockholm’s Ett Hem hotel until my fingers get all pruney.

Something you want/something you need

Something to wear/something to read

This dusty old couplet is a useful reminder of what makes the best gifts, but this year I’ve shortened and simplified it to ‘a bath, a bottle, a book’ because I adore alliteration as much as I like reading and good smells (and right now, everyone needs a bottle of something.)

The book itself can be new and glossy, or an out-of-print favourite, scrounged second-hand, that you need your friend to read. That may have a whiff of ‘reading assignment’, but so be it.

This inaugural Bath, Bottle and Book is a trio of gifts for a quiet homebody, rendered weary by the season:

Canada’s own Bathorium bath bomb in Boreal Fog , $12, Holt Renfrew, Etiket.ca, has an evocative name that encourages you to go walking in the bitter cold, then come home to steep in a hot tub like a giant, human tea bag, surrounded by Boreal Fog’s wondrous eucalyptus, fir and vetiver fug.

Empress 1908 gin, $52.95, LCBO, named after the Victoria, BC, hotel, is loved for its floral notes and blend of botanicals, makes a mean martini (a very last century, female writer drink) and is arrestingly beautiful enough to be displayed on a drinks tray (the aromatic, dry gin gets its colour from butterfly pea blossoms.)

One Pair of Hands (copies available here and here), is a funny, clever and often pointed, detail-rich account of Monica Dickens’ (yes, Charles’s great-granddaughter) time spent as a cook for hire in 1930s London households after she got booted from acting school and became bored with debutante life. Why this book and this author are not more famous is beyond me.

+J Jil Sander Coming to Uniqlo November 18th

+J collection images courtesy of Uniqlo.

Who wants to join me at Uniqlo on November 18th for the new +J Jil Sander drop? (Those lucky Americans got it on November 11th, but you can figure out what you want in advance on Uniqlo’s Canadian site.)

Lining up for the first crack at designer/mass retailer collaborations is the grown-up version of camping out for concert tickets, but perhaps the lineup will be indoors, so we won’t need thermoses, blankets and lawn chairs. (The collab will be available online starting at 10:00 a.m. EST for Canadians that same day.)

I snagged a beautiful, nipped-in waist puffer from the +J collection last year, and the quality is reassuringly quite high. My new favourite coat is matte on the outside with a shiny lining, same as this year. A cuff revealing a glint of shine is just the right amount of ‘bling’ for any Jil Sander-loving minimalist.

This coming season (rumoured to be the last for this collaboration) everything has that oversized ease, which is perfect for those of us still wrestling with newly expanded waistlines, grâce à Covid.

Sander herself says it best: “This winter’s collection concentrates on distinctive silhouettes and luxurious tailoring which respond to our new sense of comfort. We return to social life, but we want to feel protected. The collection explores new oversize silhouettes with a controlled fit and variations of substantial winter classics.”

Translation: we want to feel like we’re still wearing our sweats, but it is time to start looking a little more dressed up. Perfect.

Oh, the colour of this jacket. (Faints)

A ‘November Box’ of Seasonal Treats

Former Vogue Editor Tonne Goodman’s living room is cozy perfection.

The holidays are still pretty far away but we need some frivolity now. A November box, (see last year’s here) is a collection of treats you assemble to open on that first rainy, miserable November day. It can be anything you want, as long as it’s cheering.

The Santa Maria Novella terracotta pomegrante, $69 US., is what I call ‘stealth ubiquitous’. Once you know about it, you’ll see it everywhere in photos, quietly perched on a shelf or coffee table. Safer than a scented candle, this porous, terracotta fruit is soaked in scented oil so you can bring it home to release that signature Santa Maria Novella ‘Melograno’ scent. It’s powerful at first but dissipates to perfume rooms gently for at least a year after which it can live on in a closet.

And take some inspiration from Alex Eagle’s coffee table, below. If you stack all your books into piles, each topped with an objet, candle or ashtray, it immediately looks purposeful and tidy.

Santa Maria Novella’s pomegranate is only one of many delights on Alex Eagle’s coffee table.

The Uniqlo pale grey cashmere beanie, because each year we always forget how cold it gets.

Keep a Uniqlo cashmere beanie $39.90, at the ready for when the temps continue their downward trajectory. The navy blue is already sold out, but black, pale grey, cream and a whole raft of colours are still available. And you can’t beat the price for pure cashmere.

Serge Lutens Chergui Confit de Parfum perfumed oil, $195, Holt Renfrew, named after a Moroccan desert wind, reveals its secrets slowly. It’s like discovering your favourite elderly auntie was actually a member of the resistance who lured Gestapo agents to abandoned warehouses before shooting them. In a perfumed oil this means it starts all sweet and innocent and powdery with rose, iris and honey, before warming into a heady mix of leather, tobacco, musk and incense. World War two heroines aside, it’s the perfect scent if you’re tired of smelling like everyone else.

Oversized and singular with that crazy handle, this capacious and thick-walled Waverly mug from superstar interiors trendsetter Montana Labelle will add a cool, earthy vibe to your morning Nespresso.

Watching the venerable Italian nonne of Pasta Grannies make their own pasta like trofie with basil sauce (page 28) and potato gnocchi with tomato sauce (page 115) on YouTube is pure visual Xanax. The accompanying cookbook ensures that they are truly “saving traditions and sharing skills” while giving us some much-needed, comforting fall dinner inspiration.

Laboratoire Filorga’s Meso Mask, $75, Shoppers Drug Mart, calms redness in minutes and super-hydrates too, because we all know what’s going to happen to our poor skin when the air out there is both freezing and drying.

Lindt Excellence Orange Almond dark chocolate is a souped-up and tricked-out adult version of that Christmas stocking staple, the Terry’s chocolate orange. Stash one in your November Box and hopefully forget about it, so when you open the box, there will be #surprisechocolate for you to eat right away. it’s the edible equivalent to finding $20 in your coat pocket.

It’s Velvet Pillow Season

Pillow people love autumn. As we'll happily tell anyone who'll listen - switching out pillow covers adds seasonal colour and new energy to a room and it's not half as drastic, or costly, as reupholstering your couch. (I am deeply impressed by those fearless souls who recover furniture in bold prints, but I could never do it.)

Only Pillows in the Building

The posh New York City apartments belonging to the characters in ‘Only Murders in the Building’ (now streaming on Disney+ and Star in Canada and Hulu in the US) as created by Production Designer Curt Beech and set decorator Rich Murray, offer a motherlode of design inspiration. Richly layered and expensively accoutred, each apartment is full of ‘I need to freeze frame this for further study’ details. And pillows. So many pillows.

Sting, in his cameo as a rock star and murder suspect, has an invitingly smooshy, velvet pillow-overloaded couch.

Steve Martin’s faded tv star cum amateur sleuth finds love while his patterned pillows clash daringly with his Paul Smith-ish striped sofa.

Martin Short, whose purple coat and always a silk scarf-wearing Broadway director, Oliver Putnam, has the most over-the-top apartment and the best pillows. To whit, a pair of pomegranate-pattern, sheared velvet beauts living on a tufted couch. (My screen cap, below, because for some puzzling reason, the press photos aren’t as pillow-centric as I would like.)

Bold pillows on Oliver’s couch: pomegranates are traditionally a symbol of fertility and abundance.

From the archives: wouldn’t this pillow array and suzani on socialite Jacqui Getty’s bed be perfect in a living room?

Here in the budget-aware real world, we have to rely on our own pillow-finding skills instead of a production design team:

Winners and HomeSense are always a good resource and their Fall 2021 edit is full of on-trend colours. Go early and go often and you will be rewarded.

Put the kettle on and start searching on Etsy for silk Ikat pillows.

Etsy is a great pillow and textile resource. Unlike Oliver’s pomegranates that wrap around the whole pillow, Etsy offerings often have the decorative fabric on one side only, but they are (relatively) inexpensive and it’s easy to find something under $80 Canadian.

I think it was at New York City’s ABC Carpet & Home that I saw my first $400 pillow. And that was years ago. Who knows how much they cost now? Seriously, does anyone know? I could use the laugh.

This Skirt Fits Every Body

All photos courtesy of Bleusalt.

Lord love a tube skirt. Narrow enough to look like actual “be seen in public” clothing, but the elastic waist and soft fabric feel like pyjamas.

Navy is the new black.

This Bleusalt tube skirt is on sale right now. I bought it in 'navy’ (more of a midnight blue, really) at the beginning of lockdown last year and only just wore it out this week for the first time. The soft Tencel jersey, spun from beechwood fibres, is sustainable (and just as important) it’s machine washable.

Unlike the lovely model in her crop top (above), I do wear the skirt with a longish, loose shirt that gently (and compassionately) skims over my midsection. Dark blue is a nice change from black and the narrow cut makes it look tailored enough to work with structured fall shoes like lug-soled loafers or Chelsea boots, both of the moment.

Throw on some nice sunglasses and retrieve a proper purse from the depths of your closet and it’s a painless way to help you re-enter polite society.

Walking away from yoga pants.

Your Friday Five #2

The Emmys take place this Sunday (September 19th at 8 p.m. est on CBS) and Jean Smart is nominated for her roles in HBO’s Hacks (above) and HBO’s Mare of Easttown (both on Crave in Canada.) If you haven’t yet watched Hacks, you need to binge all 10 episodes right now. I envy you.

Chanel Baume Essentiel Multi Use Glow Stick in Golden Light, $60, helps you keep a summery radiance straight into fall and prevents that “ghostly and faintly unwell” look from taking hold. This shimmery bronze stick is lightly pigmented so you can apply it with abandon on cheekbones, eyelids, and the bridge of your nose to look instantly better, glowier. And it works for all skin tones (just use a lighter hand if you are English-rose pale.)

But Mama Always Put Vodka in Her Sangria by the late Julia Reed should have won prizes for the title alone. This 2014 mix of stories, history and recipes can forcibly yank you out of a bad mood and her easy champagne cocktail of a sugar cube soaked in grapefruit bitters with prosecco poured over could easily become your party mainstay.

Pattern Beauty by Tracee Ellis Ross is the latest BIPOC-owned beauty brand to come to Sephora and I was curious to try the On the Go Curl Hair Kit , $31, Sephora, to see if its rich products could quiet my frizz. One attempt later and I have coaxed actual curls from straw. And the scent is suitably luxe — light and fresh but sophisticated. Next up, trying the hair Treatment Mask which has a richer ‘could be an expensive perfume’ fragrance. I am all in.

Sure, Issey Miyake’s new A Drop d’Issey, $142, Shoppers Drug Mart, is ostensibly a warm weather fragrance, given its pure lilac central note, but why not wear it to stay in blissful denial about the icy months ahead?

Your Friday Five

On the last weekend of August, let’s socialize, inspired by this clever, smoke-centric reimagining of Slim Aarons’ iconic poolside photos, shot by Hype Williams for Jay-Z’s Monogram cannabis company.

Bottom row, from left to right: Even if you don’t have a Palm Springs retreat at your disposal, you can still share a fancy drink outdoors with friends. Dunk puréed fruit popsicles (I like local Toronto brand Happy Pops) head first into glasses of prosecco or champagne for cocktails that are festive but not overly sweet. Created at New York’s Conrad Hotel’s Loopy Doopy bar, they’re easy to assemble and are much more than mere Instagram bait.

I often think about the ‘bowls’ of cigarettes’ at Mary-Kate Olsen’s 2015 wedding reception with now ex-spouse Olivier Sarkozy. The 2021 Covid-anxiety version of this has to be offering your guests Ace Valley Pinners in Indica Kosher Kush. These skinny joints come eight to a pack and contain only .3 mg of thc instead of the usual .5 mg. No passing around, everyone gets their own and voilà, you are cooler than an Olsen twin.

Matrix Biolage Coconut Infusion spray, $24, Chatters.ca, detangles and hydrates that unruly mess on the top of your head, turning frizz into beachy waves and infusing hair with a light coconut scent. It’ll be perfect come November for that summery fragrance alone.

Why isn’t eucalyptus more of a standard deodorant scent? Decidedly genderless, this bracing and clean-smelling Caudalie Vinofresh natural stick deodorant, $18.50, Sephora, promises 24 hour protection and is ideal when engaging with others outside in the late summer steam.

If you are hiding inside with the AC blasting, waiting for fall, you should watch '“Shetland” (the first four seasons are available on Netflix) set on the windy and cold Scottish island of the same name. With only a wee bit of violence, it’s mainly soothing, with detective Jimmy Perez (Douglas Henshall) wearing one of his many wooly jumpers, while interviewing suspects outdoors in yet another impossibly beautiful Scottish locale.