Gifts For Frazzled Hosts

Etiquette experts say that it’s impolite to bring flowers to a dinner party because you are asking your already put-upon host to find a vase and arrange flowers when they are busy welcoming guests and seeing to dinner. Much better to send flowers ahead of time or the next day as a thank you.

Guidance like this increases my already sky-high gift anxiety. Like there’s an unseen panel judging my gift as ill-conceived or merely thoughtless. But I don’t want to show up empty-handed knowing I’m sending something the next day. So I am trying to think what would be appreciated if I were feeling overwhelmed or just plain distracted in the kitchen. Happy holidays!

Instead of flowers, let’s start a tradition of showing up with a lasagna and some face masks for the hosts to enjoy the next day when they are exhausted. If you are in Toronto the bolognese lasagna at StockTC on Yonge at Eglinton is hefty for its size and it tastes extravagantly rich and homemade. Throw in some cooling and depuffing, day-after-the-party Cucumber Eye Masks, $5, Sephora.com, and you have a perfect Thank You for your host. (Do I have this beauty writer thing right? Dunno, but if someone showed up at my place with lasagna and cucumber eye masks, I’d let them in.)

The perfect gift for any plant-based friends who may not get the iron they need, the Lucky Iron fish, when boiled for 10 minutes in a soup, curry etc, provides six to eight mg of bioavailable iron. Created by Canadian health workers in Cambodia, witnessing malnutrition in marginalized communities, the fish is best used here for anyone needing an iron supplement. And a percentage of the proceeds goes to help communities in need through Lucky Fishes non-profit partners.

Olli’s Caramelts which contain 2.5 mg of both THC and CBD each are definitely not for kids.

If you were tasked with bringing dessert:

This season people may feel as overstuffed as a couch by the end of the holiday meal. If dessert is up to you, why not go lighter? A couple of boxes of President’s Choice cocoa dusted salted caramel Truffles, $2.49 each, (the cocoa dusting make them look instantly fancier than a regular chocolate), with some fresh figs and raspberries or clementines on a platter lets everyone take what they want. Not to mention, fewer dishes afterwards.

And if your table is adults only, then why not add some Olli Passion Fruit Caramelts, with 2.5 grams THC and 2.5 CBD for gentle “relaxation”. Olli Caramelts are like an ‘enhanced’ version of the wrapped Kraft caramels of our youth except that they also taste brightly of passion fruit and they contain both 2.5 mg of both THC and CBD for the ‘entourage effect’ that amplifies the effect of the THC. So not really like Kraft caramels at all.

This appeals to me for its university dorm party vibe. Show up with a carton of grocery store egg nog (or an actual bottle of ‘fancy’ nog like this one from Toronto’s Summerhill market) and a mickey of just good enough brandy, like St. Remy XO, 375 ml, $20.95, LCBO.com. You can crown yourself barkeep and mix up fortified nogs for the assembled (and hopefully delighted) throng. No punchbowl required, just a willing arm to provide generous pours.

Gift Guide: Dinner in Italy

The best part of foreign travel is renting a place with a kitchen and roaming through markets and small shops to assemble dinner like a native. Seeing as that may not be happening until later in 2022, assembling a food basket is the perfect gift (along with an off piste item or two) for that friend who, at this point in the pandemic, would happily swim to Europe if they thought they could make it.

If I found this beautiful bottle in Europe, i would be ranting about how much lovelier everything is over there. But surprise! it’s available at the LCBO and it’s only $27.95. More subtle than the amaretto you may be familiar with, Luxardo Amaretto di Saschira is sweet but also nutty. It’s nuanced as opposed to one-note and the sheer grandness and arresting beauty of the bottle demands that you build a drinks tray around it. Great as a digestif or in cocktails, it also makes the cleverest and fastest dessert: an Amaretto Affogato. It’s the classic ‘hot espresso poured over vanilla ice cream', but with a generous slug of amaretto added to the bowl as well.

Add an unexpected treat to a food-centric gift by including the perfect red lipstick (nothing more Italian than Gucci) that an Italian hostess would quickly swipe on before receiving guests. Gucci rouge à lèvres satin lipstick in Goldie Red, $55, Sephora.ca is a vibrant true red that looks good on every complexion.

Yes, I know hand soap is not food. But I am so thrilled that this gorgeous and reasonably priced Italian brand is now available at Eataly. Their amber and spice scented Gattopardo Ambra Nera Glass Plate and Soap, $20.90, Eataly.ca makes a perfect practical but glamorous hostess gift.

This year, let’s normalize using vibrantly coloured panettone tins as sewing kits. Definitely one step up from the ubiquitous blue butter cookie tins. I found this Dolce & Gabbana panettone at my favourite Italian grocer (Toronto’s Lady York on Dufferin street) so it’s worth seeking them out at your local shops. And then you aren’t at the mercy of overstretched shipping companies.

Mimi Thorisson’s Old World Italian, Chapters Indigo Books $45, is equal parts tour through Italian cookery, interior design inspiration and straightforward, easy to execute recipes. FYI, The Cacio e Pepe is on p. 160. (Maybe mark it with a Post-it if you are giving pasta and cheese as well?)

Did you read about the bucatini shortage exactly one year ago? All the more reason to include it in your gift. Add a hunk of pecorino and some black peppercorns and you have everything you need for Cacio e Pepe (except the starchy pasta water. You’ll have to make that yourself.)

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Storytime!

In my twenties, I visited the Toronto home of an up-and-coming film producer and his lovely Italian girlfriend. According to the friends of his who brought me, he apparently wouldn’t marry her, even after years together, because he didn’t want her to get his money in case they broke up.

She was warm, welcoming and low-key cool and kept all her beautiful dried pasta boxes casually displayed in a wicker basket on top of the fridge. When I got home, I immediately put all my pasta in a basket too, and 30 years on, I still store it that way. I googled him for this and no, they are no longer together. If you and I are friends, just ask and I will tell you who he is.

#sweaterweatherperfume For Only $14

We interrupt gift guide season to suggest you buy yourself something small when you’re stuck at the mall with your long list and your waning patience.

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It’s very Cool Girl to not let price dictate what you like. Carolyn Bessette Kennedy was known for wearing Karim Abdul Egyptian Musk Oil that she would buy from NYC street vendors. The Body Shop White Musk perfume oil has that same quiet cool energy. It’s a gentle skin scent that doesn’t smell like ‘perfume’ per se, but instead becomes a part of you. This is especially welcome during sweater season when you are hiding your actual skin away under so many layers.

White Musk was the first non-animal derived musk, when it launched in (gulp) 1981 and its most recent iteration, launched this year, is now 100% vegan. And if you did wear it way back in the early 80s, when we all flocked to The Body Shop for Kiwi Fruit lip balm and Peppermint Foot Lotion, you’ll be happy to know it is still the same great ‘laundry’ musk, with floral notes to subtly amplify its clean vibe.

Isn’t it reassuring when something you loved in your youth hold ups and isn’t a massive embarrassment now?

The Best Luxury Beauty For Giving

Sure, Hermès Les Mains Hermès nail enamels, $63, Holt Renfrew, might look like the most extreme sort of frivolity, but the colours (inspired by Hermes’ iconic leather shades) are beautifully executed and have wonderful depth. They’re a lovely gift for a friend if you feel hesitant buying them for yourself.

19/99 Beauty’s Countertop Precision Colour pencil set, $134, 1999beauty.ca, is all the Canadian brand’s carefully curated pencils for eyes, lips and cheeks gathered in a sleekly graphic glass cup. Having everything in front of you lets you simplify your daily ‘get out of the house’ makeup or amp it up for a holiday festivities with minimal fuss.

So many ‘holiday’ makeup offerings are just intense ‘evening’ colours garishly overloaded with excessive shimmer or chunky glitter. The Gift Edition $180.64, from Westman Atelier lets you create a festive less-is-more holiday look with only two items: a gleaming pearly oyster highlighter stick and a quartet of richly pigmented, moisturizing matte lip shades.

Sulwhasoo’s herbal facial soap is skincare masquerading as a beautiful bathroom accessory. You get two bars of antioxidant-rich red ginseng soap and a delicate filigree-patterned soap dish for only $50. Holt Renfrew.com.

This trio of Fresh Colour & Care Hydrating Lip Gift Set is only $35 (luxury isn’t just about price) at Sephora.ca, but the joy of having a heavyweight balm (the metal cases feel substantial and solid) in your coat pocket, in your bag and one by your reading chair cannot be overstated.

I see new Kérastase Chronologiste Sérum Universel, $250, Kerastase.ca, as more of an extravagant hair perfume (fragrance lasts longer on hair than skin after all) with nourishing benefits, then as a haircare product. The tea rose, wood and musk scent is rich and deeply fancy while hyaluronic acid, vitamin E and deep sea Abyssine tame frizz, plump hair fibres and protect from external aggressors. It even comes in its own dust-bag (I am a sucker for a good dust bag.)

A Bath, a Bottle, a Book: Gifts for a Quiet Day

I want to steep in this marble bath at Stockholm’s Ett Hem hotel until my fingers get all pruney.

Something you want/something you need

Something to wear/something to read

This dusty old couplet is a useful reminder of what makes the best gifts, but this year I’ve shortened and simplified it to ‘a bath, a bottle, a book’ because I adore alliteration as much as I like reading and good smells (and right now, everyone needs a bottle of something.)

The book itself can be new and glossy, or an out-of-print favourite, scrounged second-hand, that you need your friend to read. That may have a whiff of ‘reading assignment’, but so be it.

This inaugural Bath, Bottle and Book is a trio of gifts for a quiet homebody, rendered weary by the season:

Canada’s own Bathorium bath bomb in Boreal Fog , $12, Holt Renfrew, Etiket.ca, has an evocative name that encourages you to go walking in the bitter cold, then come home to steep in a hot tub like a giant, human tea bag, surrounded by Boreal Fog’s wondrous eucalyptus, fir and vetiver fug.

Empress 1908 gin, $52.95, LCBO, named after the Victoria, BC, hotel, is loved for its floral notes and blend of botanicals, makes a mean martini (a very last century, female writer drink) and is arrestingly beautiful enough to be displayed on a drinks tray (the aromatic, dry gin gets its colour from butterfly pea blossoms.)

One Pair of Hands (copies available here and here), is a funny, clever and often pointed, detail-rich account of Monica Dickens’ (yes, Charles’s great-granddaughter) time spent as a cook for hire in 1930s London households after she got booted from acting school and became bored with debutante life. Why this book and this author are not more famous is beyond me.

Beauty Advent Calendars 2021

Holt Renfrew’s Beauty Advent Calendar is a month-long tour through the most luxe beauty brands.

Don’t wait until later in the season to give your dearest friend their holiday gift. A beauty advent calendars is a daily present from December first to the 24th, and the best substitute for the chocolate-stuffed ones we got as kids. (Remember how much bigger the last window was and you knew that the chocolate hiding inside would be huge as well?) The calendars with drawers are gorgeous and reusable, but the ones that require you to carefully open all the perforations are a retro thrill.

L’Occitane’s Classic is the beauty advent calendar OG and clocks in at only $89 Canadian. The mix of soaps, hair care (and purse-sized shea-butter skin and hand care from L’Occitane’s partner artisans in Burkina Faso and Ghana) is a delight that guarantees the recipients are properly moisturized for months to come.

The Body Shop’s Share the Love Big Advent Calendar is a cornucopia of face masks, hand creams, shampoo, soap, as well as a headband and a full sized Avocado Body Butter, all for $129. And this year, The Body Shop is supporting First Nations by donating $50,000 to The Caring Society to help community leaders focused on First Nations children’s rights.

Charlotte Tilbury’s Beauty Dreams and Secrets, $250, charlottetilbury.com contains nine travel and three full sized, best-selling skincare and makeup items in a sparkly chest of drawers, which, after emptying, needs to be reloaded with tiny treats and gifted to the nearest young family member to make their head explode with joy.

Holt Renfrew’s Beauty Advent Calendar, $525, is a heart-stopping beauty fully loaded with beautifully wrapped generously-sized luxe beauty treats from brands like La Mer, Diptyque, Sulwhasoo, Westman Atelier and Gucci, each in its own protective dust-bag. Maybe you just want it all for yourself? We are not here to judge.

The Shoppers Drug Mart Beauty Surprises Advent Calendar, $95, contains a wide assortment of classics like Clinique, Estee Lauder and Darphin as well as lines you need to discover.

Lancôme’s Beauty Advent Calendar, $199, Shoppers Drug Mart, is a flatlay, 3D Parisian streetscape of iconic quintessentially French products like Monsieur Big mascara, Advanced Génifique eye cream and L’Absolue Rouge lipstick (in a classic French girl red, of course.)

Bioderma Atoderm Cleansing Oil is Your Winter Skin Saviour

Bioderma Atoderm Ultra Nourishing Cleansing Oil will save your skin this winter.

Dermatologists must get so weary, telling us every year that hot showers are terribly drying to our skin. It’s advice we mostly ignore because, come winter, is there anything better than a quarter hour spent blissfully thawing out under a scalding spray?

Bioderma Atoderm Ultra Nourishing, Anti Irritation Cleansing Oil (Shoppers Drug Mart, $22.99) will save you from yourself when you decide to take up permanent residence in the shower. Its light fragrance is a faint echo of 1970s pearlized bath oil beads, while the coconut oil/glycerin formula gently cleanses without stripping skin or leaving you feeling overly greased up.

Atoderm helps your skin barrier stay strong to protect you from TEWL (trans-epidermal water loss) because dried out skin is itchy, uncomfortable and may be vulnerable to irritation which can lead to redness, cracking and inflammation.

When I’ve posted seasonal Atoderm reminders on Instagram in the past, in-the-know friends and colleagues unfailingly tell me that they have their requisite ‘one bottle on the go and one bottle on deck’. We’re a not-so-secret society of well-moisturized women who can now fearlessly face the dry air and winds that the coming season has to offer. Atoderm is that good. Ignore this edict at your own peril.

Oribe Desertland is #sweaterweatherperfume

The biggest upside to colder weather is being reunited with your favourite sweaters that have been reverse-hibernating, patiently waiting for the falling temps.

Desertland eau de parfum, $156 CAN, Oribe.com, was born to be paired with your best-loved knits. Inspired by a trip to Marfa, Texas, every note, from the herbal opening of juniper, lavender and wild flowers to its Texas cedar, vetiver and sandalwood dry-down is sun-warmed and comforting. It’s the perfect vibe to carry with you as you bundle up against November’s signature gloom.

Desertland is the latest from Oribe, the cult haircare range that became a de facto perfume house after parlaying the fan favourite jasmine-and-citrus scent of their line into Cote d’Azur eau de parfum. This was both a clever marketing move and a public safety measure, as I know people who would literally huff Oribe Superfine Hairspray because it smells so good.

Wallet-melting pro tip: Both Côte d’Azur and Desertland would make excellent, if somewhat pricy, room sprays.

+J Jil Sander Coming to Uniqlo November 18th

+J collection images courtesy of Uniqlo.

Who wants to join me at Uniqlo on November 18th for the new +J Jil Sander drop? (Those lucky Americans got it on November 11th, but you can figure out what you want in advance on Uniqlo’s Canadian site.)

Lining up for the first crack at designer/mass retailer collaborations is the grown-up version of camping out for concert tickets, but perhaps the lineup will be indoors, so we won’t need thermoses, blankets and lawn chairs. (The collab will be available online starting at 10:00 a.m. EST for Canadians that same day.)

I snagged a beautiful, nipped-in waist puffer from the +J collection last year, and the quality is reassuringly quite high. My new favourite coat is matte on the outside with a shiny lining, same as this year. A cuff revealing a glint of shine is just the right amount of ‘bling’ for any Jil Sander-loving minimalist.

This coming season (rumoured to be the last for this collaboration) everything has that oversized ease, which is perfect for those of us still wrestling with newly expanded waistlines, grâce à Covid.

Sander herself says it best: “This winter’s collection concentrates on distinctive silhouettes and luxurious tailoring which respond to our new sense of comfort. We return to social life, but we want to feel protected. The collection explores new oversize silhouettes with a controlled fit and variations of substantial winter classics.”

Translation: we want to feel like we’re still wearing our sweats, but it is time to start looking a little more dressed up. Perfect.

Oh, the colour of this jacket. (Faints)

A ‘November Box’ of Seasonal Treats

Former Vogue Editor Tonne Goodman’s living room is cozy perfection.

The holidays are still pretty far away but we need some frivolity now. A November box, (see last year’s here) is a collection of treats you assemble to open on that first rainy, miserable November day. It can be anything you want, as long as it’s cheering.

The Santa Maria Novella terracotta pomegrante, $69 US., is what I call ‘stealth ubiquitous’. Once you know about it, you’ll see it everywhere in photos, quietly perched on a shelf or coffee table. Safer than a scented candle, this porous, terracotta fruit is soaked in scented oil so you can bring it home to release that signature Santa Maria Novella ‘Melograno’ scent. It’s powerful at first but dissipates to perfume rooms gently for at least a year after which it can live on in a closet.

And take some inspiration from Alex Eagle’s coffee table, below. If you stack all your books into piles, each topped with an objet, candle or ashtray, it immediately looks purposeful and tidy.

Santa Maria Novella’s pomegranate is only one of many delights on Alex Eagle’s coffee table.

The Uniqlo pale grey cashmere beanie, because each year we always forget how cold it gets.

Keep a Uniqlo cashmere beanie $39.90, at the ready for when the temps continue their downward trajectory. The navy blue is already sold out, but black, pale grey, cream and a whole raft of colours are still available. And you can’t beat the price for pure cashmere.

Serge Lutens Chergui Confit de Parfum perfumed oil, $195, Holt Renfrew, named after a Moroccan desert wind, reveals its secrets slowly. It’s like discovering your favourite elderly auntie was actually a member of the resistance who lured Gestapo agents to abandoned warehouses before shooting them. In a perfumed oil this means it starts all sweet and innocent and powdery with rose, iris and honey, before warming into a heady mix of leather, tobacco, musk and incense. World War two heroines aside, it’s the perfect scent if you’re tired of smelling like everyone else.

Oversized and singular with that crazy handle, this capacious and thick-walled Waverly mug from superstar interiors trendsetter Montana Labelle will add a cool, earthy vibe to your morning Nespresso.

Watching the venerable Italian nonne of Pasta Grannies make their own pasta like trofie with basil sauce (page 28) and potato gnocchi with tomato sauce (page 115) on YouTube is pure visual Xanax. The accompanying cookbook ensures that they are truly “saving traditions and sharing skills” while giving us some much-needed, comforting fall dinner inspiration.

Laboratoire Filorga’s Meso Mask, $75, Shoppers Drug Mart, calms redness in minutes and super-hydrates too, because we all know what’s going to happen to our poor skin when the air out there is both freezing and drying.

Lindt Excellence Orange Almond dark chocolate is a souped-up and tricked-out adult version of that Christmas stocking staple, the Terry’s chocolate orange. Stash one in your November Box and hopefully forget about it, so when you open the box, there will be #surprisechocolate for you to eat right away. it’s the edible equivalent to finding $20 in your coat pocket.