A Fall (Faux) Tan With Tanologist & Caudalie

Dear beauty industry: why is self-tanner easy to buy in the summer, only to vanish from store shelves in the fall? Now that it’s chilly (hello sweaters, my old friends) my skin has dried out and paled out overnight, and I could really use some moisture and colour.

The same November week that I assess the contents of my tea cupboard in preparation for winter, I also pull out my Tanologist Daily Glow Hydrating Gradual Self Tan Lotion, $38.01, Walmart.ca, the moisturizer-slash-self-tanner that will be my staple during these ‘dark by four thirty p.m.’ days. It does double duty, resuscitating desiccated skin with ingredients like squalane, hyaluronic acid and fatty acids, and providing natural-looking, buildable colour so I look healthier than I probably am.

Now comes the clever bit. Once I establish my ‘I do sunrise yoga on the beach’ (faux) colour, I apply my favourite Caudalie Smooth & Glow Oil Elixir, $70, Caudalie.ca. I evangelized it at length here. Its name in French “Huile de soin” means ‘care oil’, and I find that much more accurate and less of a mouthful. The fig in question is figue de barbarie, aka anti-oxidant rich prickly pear, which along with argan and shea oil gives your skin a light-reflecting gleam and a really elegant, definitely transporting fig scent. It’s some much-needed happy frivolity for these times.

Rush Hour: Maybelline Lifter Plump Lip Gloss

Maybelline New York Lifter Plump in Blush Blaze.

Maybelline New York’s Lifter Plump lip gloss in ‘Blush Blaze’, ($12.99, drugstores) is the perfect fix when you’re in a makeup as afterthought state of mind. This hefty tube lives by my front door, so I can swipe on some colour before hurtling myself out the door, invariably late for something.

I love this shade because it’s both sheer and just bright pink enough, so it enlivens my whole face even though it only goes on the lips, which is a neat trick. There’s also added chile pepper to make your blood vessels swell up for a brief lip plumping effect. And best of all, because it’s gloss, not lipstick, you don’t have to be too precise about application. Which is why mine lives at the front door, waiting patiently, ready to serve.

Towards a Better-Smelling Bathroom

I have officially given up doing things I don’t want to do. I refuse to engage with tricky parking spots (no more backing into traffic at the mall) and I will not let air fresheners with scents like ‘Clean Linen’ or ‘Mountain Air’ cross my threshold. I want my bathroom to smell like the spa at a fancy resort, not the cleaning products aisle at Sobeys.

The best spa scent for home is Lotus Aroma’s Eucalyptus Home Spray, $21, Shoppers Drug Mart. And it’s Canadian. I give the air several blasts before my shower, so when I emerge, it is into a herbal, steamy fug. Just like the spa, but with no towel-wrapped strangers in my sight-line.

The internet discovered the joys of eucalyptus-scented bathrooms in a ‘complicated, but makes for a nice picture’ way early in Covid lockdown. Soon Pinterest was littered with images of twine-wrapped eucalyptus branches suspended from shower arms. But steam alone wouldn’t release the scent. It turns out you first had to crush the eucalyptus leaves with a rolling pin to release the volatile oils, which was a step too far.

I enjoy a silly craft as much as the next person, but spritzing Lotus Aroma Home Spray is much easier and way faster. And most importantly, you won’t be picking up dried eucalyptus shards for days afterwards.

Milk Makeup Jelly Blush Looks Real, Stays Put

Milk Makeup Jelly Tint in Splash (a deep berry).

Does your blush vanish by noon? My face eats makeup and I’m certain that my blood is 25 per cent blush and concealer by this point.

Applying a metric tonne of colour on your cheeks to ensure there is still some left at midday will only make you look dementedly clownish. Topping up with powder blush, although it’s easy to brush on, can add a dusty, dowager aunt vibe if your skin is dry. For a believable-looking flush, a sheer stain works best.

Enter Milk Makeup’s new Cooling Water Jelly Tint lip and cheek blush stains ($33 CAN, Sephora) that once applied, stay bullet proof for the whole day. They work as wonderful transparent lip colours as well (just add a wee dot of lip balm, because they can be drying.) The four shades look vivid when swatched (see below), but sheered out on cheeks, the effect is quite natural. The only caveat is that, as stains, you have to blend them out quickly before they set on your cheeks.

This means using your fingers (you’ll have to wash them afterwards) or, if you’re so equipped, a blush brush. But for this effort you will be rewarded with a glow that lasts well past lunch.

And not just any glow, but the lit-from-within glow of someone who attended a reformer Pilates class this morning while everyone else was still in bed.

I did swatches! (OK. Those four arms of various skin tones aren’t me, but they are helpful.) The colours, from the top down are Burst, Chill, Spritz and Splash. While swiping makes these shades look alarmingly bright on the lighter arms, once blended in they provide a natural looking healthy glow.

Why is Decluttering So Hard?

Uncluttered but not spartan, this Paris apartment belongs to designer Domitille Brion.

The New Yorker’s Helen Rosner once tweeted that she’d “pay for a service where people with good taste come to my home while I’m out and throw away everything they think is superfluous."

Mother Nature is having one of her snow-and-ice tantrums, so I’m indoors wishing someone with taste would magically apparate and start wordlessly filling garbage bags with all my junk. I want a home that looks like the one in the picture above, even though I recognize that high Haussmann ceilings, intricate mouldings and chevron chestnut floors are in short supply in Toronto’s condo offerings.

Things Aren’t People

I don’t understand people who have an easy time throwing things out. Every item I possess is a friend with its own little soul. An actual human friend, who is also in the middle of a grand clear-out, put it best: “It’s hard to remember that things aren’t people.”

To compound things, like Rosner, I’ve “internalized that throwing things away is morally bad” which led to chaos when I became the self-appointed family archivist for people long since dead. It’s hard to look at items dispassionately when you’ve lived with them since birth. They are a proxy for a house that was torn down years ago.

According to the tenets of Swedish Death Cleaning, the practise of pruning your belongings to leave less trash for your heirs to wade through, you are supposed to start around age 40. So I’m already two decades behind. That sounds about right.

Makeup brand owner Bobbi Brown, who is “self-diagnosed OCD” once told me in an interview that if you get rid of all the things you don’t like, you’ll see the things you do like more clearly. That is the only thing motivating me right now. I am almost jealous that Brown is so tightly aesthetically wound that she is physically unable to sleep if her slippers aren’t placed perfectly on the floor. I would rather have that tick instead of constantly feeling guilty, like I murdered someone, when all I did was dispose of some tea cups (although the teacups were Meissen, and I regret it enormously.)

So if anyone has any ‘decluttering’ (I hate that word) tricks, please pass them along. I have the garbage bags. I am ready to do this.

Eat Spray Love: Cozy Meals, Perfect Scents

As a general rule you should always use your nicest things first. So many of us do this bass ackwards, believing that we should go through our dull, practical purchases first and save the good stuff for some notional future day. This is a terrible idea. Crack open the good stuff now because if not now, then when? Every day needs to celebrated. (This is also one of the reasons that I fundamentally disagree with wedding culture and its ‘best day of your life’ extravagance. But that’s an argument for another day.)

Ostensibly tied to Valentine’s Day, but really more of a mid-February uplift, here are some fragrance and meal pairings to inspire you to treat yourself better. The recipes are not grand and show-offy. They’re cozy, so if you want to eat sitting on the couch instead of at the table, then definitely do that.

And three of them contain cheese, because cheese is love.

Gris Dior and Cacio e Pepe Scrambled Eggs

Sprayed throughout Dior boutiques around the world to olfactorily transport you to the Avenue Montaigne mothership, Gris Dior is earthy (hello, oakmoss and patchouli), gently floral and ineffably elegant. I made a vow to myself to not use the expression ‘quiet luxury’ but boy, does this fragrance epitomize that notion. Spray some on yourself and notice how you immediately feel more put together even if you are in your most stretched-out, not-for-public-viewing sweats.  

Gris Dior will also magically turn you into the sort of person who easily elevates even the most basic breakfast-for-dinner into something special. Cacio e Pepe Scrambled Eggs from much-missed New York City restaurant Maialino fits the bill perfectly. it’s very easy to make with none of Cacio e Pepe’s complicated emulsion building, so please try it. Serve with sourdough toast soldiers or flatbread crackers.

Cacio e Pepe Soft Scrambled Eggs

Recipe by Maialino Chef Nick Anderer  
Serves four

Ingredients
10 fresh eggs
½ c. whole milk
1 c. grated pecorino, plus more to taste
2 tbsp. coarsely ground black pepper
1 tbsp. butter
Salt to taste

1. Melt butter in a nonstick skillet (9 to 10 inches in diameter) over medium heat.

2. Whisk together eggs and milk; pour into the skillet.

3. Stir continuously for four to five minutes with a heat-resistant rubber spatula until the eggs begin to lightly scramble.

4. Stir in the pecorino, black pepper, and salt.

5. Transfer eggs to a platter before they cook to a hard scramble. The final product should be creamy and loose.

6. Sprinkle more pecorino over the top and serve with the bread of your choice.

Carolina Herrera Good Girl Blush and Truffled Grilled Cheese

Carolina Herrera Good Girl Blush is what happens when a big, attention-loving gourmand perfume decides to have a quiet night at home.

Image from Stacey Todd Boutique instagram (I added the chips. Duh.). Model is wearing Another Grey Day cashmere sweats.

Soft and powdery, Carolina Herrera Good Girl Blush eau de parfum might at first telegraph a luxe clean vibe. But it also has an irrepressibly narcotic white flower and thumping rose heart that says “I can pull off a big night out. I just choose not to.” Even with its signature Good Girl gourmand heart, Good Girl Blush is way more sophisticated than any of the scores of baby girl candy fragrances out there. If you wear this to stay in, do not cook. Maybe have some truffle chips, but eaten from a porcelain bowl, never straight from the bag.

And if you must eat cooked food, have someone prepare it for you. I have a friend whose husband makes truffled grilled cheese sandwiches for her whenever she wants. May everyone have a partner like that.

Cheese is love.

Narciso Rodriguez All Of Me and Pastina

Narciso Rodriguez All of Me eau de parfum is a skin scent masquerading as an irreproachable floral fragrance. What starts out straightforwardly floral unfolds into an elevated sandalwood and musk that is equal parts soothing and sexy. Wear it while eating the classic Italian comfort dish, Pastina. ( It was given new life when it went viral two years ago on social media and the video recipe at this link is my favourite and is dead easy to make.)

Pastina is baby-sized pasta stars cooked in chicken or vegetable broth instead of water, with a healthy amount of butter and a generous grating of cheese for the perfect, nurturing meal. Giant blanket to wrap yourself in like a human burrito optional but encouraged.

Aesop Ouranon and Nigella’s Pumpkin & Chickpea Thai Curry

Aesop’s Ouranon Eau de Parfum is time lapse photography in a bottle. A journey through the changing seasons, it starts with sun-warmed lavender, then takes a spin through harvest season with dried hay before ending up at a giant stone fireplace welcoming the warm embrace of a smoky fire.

It’s what to wear when eating Pumpkin and Chickpea Thai Curry from Nigella Lawson. This stew is vegan but hearty, full of soluble fibre (my new obsession) and you can adjust the spice level from lightly warming to yeow. Perfect for a cold or rainy night when you need to thaw your poor bones.

Nigella Lawson Pumpkin and Chickpea Thai Curry

3 tablespoons vegetable oil

1 1/2 cups finely chopped onion

1/4 teaspoon salt, or to taste

2 teaspoons Thai red curry paste, or to taste (available in Asian markets. If you can avoid the grocery store versions made for western palates, then do so. The best Asian ones are Maeploy, Aroy-D and Maesri brand.)

1 teaspoon ground cumin

1 teaspoon ground coriander

2 pounds peeled seeded pumpkin, cut into 1 1/4-inch chunks

2 (15-ounce) cans coconut milk

1 cup chicken or vegetable broth

1 Tablespoon Thai fish sauce*

4 15-ounce cans chickpeas, drained

Freshly ground black pepper

1 cup loosely packed finely chopped cilantro leaves.

Place a large wide pan over medium heat, and add oil. When hot, add onion and salt, and saute until softened but not browned. Add curry paste, and saute for 1 minute. Add cumin and coriander. Raise heat to medium-high, and add pumpkin. Stir for about 1 minute. Stir in coconut milk, chicken broth and fish sauce. Partly cover with a lid, and reduce heat to low. Simmer gently until pumpkin is almost tender, about 20 minutes. Add chickpeas, partly cover, and simmer for 10 minutes more. Stir gently, and adjust salt and pepper to taste. If more heat is desired, add more curry paste. Ladle hot pot into serving bowls, sprinkle with cilantro, and serve.

* As reader Tracy points out in the comments, fish sauce is not vegan, so you can substitute miso paste or tamari or just skip that ingredient entirely.

Yield: 4 to 6 servings.

Soothe #winterface With Rhode Glazing Milk

Exploring Iceland, Feb. 2015. Rhode Glazing Milk would have come in handy. (Photo: Janine Falcon.)

Loving a celebrity skincare line feels unseemly when the celeb is 27-year-old Hailey Bieber and I am older than her mother. But Bieber, wife of Justin and creator of the ‘glazed donut’ glow, launched Rhode in 2022 and has the best new skincare product for menopausal women and I am as shocked as you are.

The Rhode line (Hailey’s middle name) has three core products: a serum, a rich moisturizer and the ‘must have been created for menopausal women’ Rhode Glazing Milk, a hydrating essence loaded with skin barrier repairing and strengthening ceramides that provides instant calming moisture so you can look into mirrors in the dead of February without recoiling. #winterfaceisreal

It makes Hailey (above) practically shiny, but if you are starting from a moisture deficit (aka ‘if desiccated is your baseline’) you will look more naturally glowy and less like a hot glazed Krispy Kreme.

Why it’s targeted to teens and tiktokers is beyond me. Just look at the ingredients list (below). It’s basically made for my cohort. And a daily concentrated application of those skin barrier-loving ingredients is all the more critical in these ‘low ambient moisture’ winter months. So thank you, Hailey.

Some of her young fans have complained on social media that Rhode products break them out, which further proves that these products were meant for us, not them. When you’re a teen, your body is diligently pumping out oil and moisture and you do not need a ceramide and glycerin rich milk to rebuild your skin barrier and protect you from central heating.

But thanks to TikTok, there is a new tranche of consumers, young girls, the ‘Sephora kids’, spending their generous allowances on retinol and other anti-aging skincare. This is puzzling and humorous in equal measure. Wouldn’t tweens want perfume and lipsticks and bras before they need them instead of retinol? But then I don’t get their obsession with Stanley cups either.

Ingredients and benefits:

The Rhode Glazing Milk ingredients rundown is basically a checklist of menopausal skin-nourishing ingredients. There’s ceramides and cholesterol to help skin barrier recovery, humectant-rich beta glucan to soothe skin and calm itch, phytosphingasine, another barrier function booster that we produce less of as we age, zinc gluconate and copper gluconate which have anti-inflammatory properties, gluconolactone, a hydrating polyhydroxy acid to maintain moisture in the top layers of the skin and gently exfoliate.

It’s not at all greasy. You can pat it on like an essence to hydrate skin and prep it for skincare. Or just put some on if your skin is feeling dry or tight. It improves the whole crepey skin situation pretty much instantly. To that end, I am waiting for a spray version. A blast of Rhode Glazing Mist would be great during the day when you’re flagging and need a little something to bring you back to life.

I would like this sized bottle to drench my whole self with..

Fairytale of New York: Make This Seasonal Drink

Midday cocktails at a private ice rink at the Palace Hotel, St. Moritz, 1947. Photo: Alfred Eisenstaedt.

In honour of the season and the late Shane McGowan, let’s make a Fairytale of New York cocktail named after the classic Pogues song. A seasonal take on an Old Fashioned, made festive with a spiced simple syrup, it’s from the long since closed Harbord Room in Toronto, and it needs to become a part of your annual repertoire.

The syrup comes together quickly and if you sample it straight you can really taste the pear. Pear, get it? Like a partridge in a pear tree? I don’t think pears get nearly enough representation at Christmas, so this drink rights that terrible wrong.

Fairytale of New York Cocktail

1 piece of orange peel (about 1 by 2 inches)
3/4 oz. Winter Warmth Syrup
2 dashes of Fee Brothers black walnut bitters
2 oz. Canadian whisky

Place the orange peel in a mixing glass, pour in the syrup and bitters, and muddle. Pour in the whisky, add ice, and stir until chilled. Strain over 1 large ice cube in an Old Fashioned glass.

Winter Warmth Syrup
1 1/2 cups water
1 cup Demerara sugar *
1/2 apple, peeled, cored, and diced
1/2 pear, peeled, cored, and diced
12 walnut halves
3 cinnamon sticks, broken up
6 whole cloves
1 whole nutmeg*

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan over medium heat. Bring to a simmer, stirring until the sugar dissolves, and simmer for 10 to 20 minutes. Remove from the heat and cool. Strain into a clean glass bottle, cover and refrigerate for up to 2 weeks. Makes about 2 cups. And definitely eat the walnuts as they are now plump and candied and perfect.

* I would really rather not use one whole nutmeg just to make this syrup. That seems extravagant, so I just added 1/8th of a teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg and it was fine. #weusewhatwehave

Same with the Demerara sugar. I can’t in good conscience tell you to buy a whole bag of it when you can just use white sugar with a dash of molasses. Or you could just purchase one lone cup of Demerara sugar at Bulk Barn, which is a very Canadian thing to do.

Gift Guide: Movie Salad & Beauty Treats

Just add a bag of Skittles and meal prep is done.

I’d never heard of ‘movie salad’ but was immediately smitten when I saw Emily Blunt mix up a big bowl of popcorn, Skittles and M&Ms in the Netflix film Pain Hustlers. Jennifer Lawrence evangelized movie salad in an interview and soon the whole trend blew up on TikTok (of course.)

Emily Blunt in Pain Hustlers: so handy in the kitchen.

A big box loaded with giant bag of popcorn and family-sized bags of candies would make a pleasingly large gift for an adult. (No fancy gift bag and tissue for this one. You need a proper, gift-wrapped and beribboned box.)

Toss in one of the following beauty gifts, because if your recipient is going to be parked in front of the television, they might as well be productive. Granted, my definition of ‘productive’ is rather elastic.

Nothing like Rothko marigold and pink. Nothing.

The Sephora Collection Mask Wishes Face and Body Skincare Set ($34, sephora.ca) is the beauty version of a box of chocolates, with its assortment of Sephora Collection greatest hits like vitamin C masks and depuffing eye masks. There’s more than enough to share through a double feature Netflix night and with its orange and pink palette, the bag is definitely a keeper. That colour combo is very Mark Rothko.

The Amopé Pedi Perfect Advanced Electronic Foot File ($49, Shoppers Drug Mart) looks like a gadget that you would abandon in a drawer after one use, but it is actually a miracle worker. You will become a fan, as there is nothing speedier and more effective at removing the (ick) dead skin on your heels, the balls of your feet and on toes with its rotating industrial-grade diamond roller. (I could make a Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend joke here, but I promise I won’t.)

Then follow up with Dr. Scholls Ultra-Hydrating Foot Masks ($14.97 for a pack of three pairs, Walmart.ca). You will actually make happy little ‘ahhh’ sounds when you slip your neglected, hardworking feet into these booties filled with hydrating ingredients like shea butter and macadamia oil and urea for softening. The results are nothing short of dramatic.

Jonathan Van Ness’s spectacularly shiny hair makes him the best ambassador for his eponymous haircare brand. JVN Nurture Intense Hydration Mask ($46, Sephora.ca) smooths hair with a vegan keratin alternative, protects from future damage with amino-acids and smells amazing.

The Body Shop Sleep Lavender & Vetiver candle ($28, thebodyshop.com) is an herbal oasis of calm and would pair beautifully with the face mask set for enhanced movie night relaxation. And unlike so many candles nowadays, the price is reasonable enough that you won’t try to save it for a special occasion (a ridiculous thing that I do far too often.)

Thicker than regular lip balm, Korean cult favourite Belif’s Aqua Bomb Overnight Lip Mask ($30, Sephora.ca) stays put while you sleep or binge all three seasons of Only Murders in the Building. It soothes lips with healing ingredients like cica and madecassoside (aka Tiger Grass)and comes in a generous 20 mg. jar so you can also use it on cracked cuticles without feel wasteful. And its faint citrus flavour pairs well with movie salad.

Are flavoured lip balm and snack pairings the next frontier in beauty writing?

Cool Girl Beauty For Only Five Bucks

You could spend $5 on a Starbucks holiday peppermint mocha and get a brief sugar rush or you could snag this pomegranate lip balm from Burt’s Bees for months of complexion brightening and mood lifting. (At $5, you can get one for each coat and bag.)

This balm is a certified cool girl staple and I can say that because Julia Leach keeps citing it in online profiles.

Leach is a creative director (right now at Athleta) who has imparted her vision to brands like Apple, Target and Ralph Lauren. And just look at her Venice Beach home’s curated but laid-back style.

While some influencers do have a singular point of view, I still prefer an old school beauty reco from someone who is not in that game. Truly inspirational women do not have Amazon storefronts.

No lie, I’d be more interested to know what Christine Lagarde has in her medicine cabinet. She always looks so immaculate and sharp when delivering news about the euro.

Burt’s Bees Pomegranate balm imparts just enough of a faintly red tint that you look ‘well’ but not overtly done. And because it’s a beeswax balm, lips stay matte so it doesn’t read as ‘makeup’. It’s beauty subterfuge like glowing skin or groomed brows - nothing identifiable.

I’ve already sung the praises of Burt’s Bees Pomegranate balm here, but it’s an icon and I wanted an excuse to post photos of Julia Leach’s beautiful rooms.

And while I may be exaggerating the $5 price tag (it’s $5.49 in Canada, and the cheapest non-caffeinated thrill I can think of.)